Original Welcome to Weirdsville Cartoon Art by Lee Widener

Evil Experiment: The Creation of Monster Weirdo

Evil Experiment: The Creation of Monster Weirdo

The Blue Laser was locked in a never ending battle to defeat his arch-enemy SuperWeirdo! His secondary pastime was to subjugate the entire populace of Weirdsville so they would become his slaves and carry out his every wish. One day he came up with a plan to help accomplish both of these goals. He would create a fearsome monster, a monster that would terrorize one and all, a monster that would defeat SuperWeirdo!

He already had a secret laboratory he used to create evil weapons, so all he had to do was to modify some of his nefarious machinery to make a device that would create life out of... out of what? This was a problem. What substance should he make his creature from?

The super-villain snuck down to the Sacred Lake in the wee hours of the morning, when he was sure he wasn't being watched and scooped up a bucketful of slime from the bottom. After that he crept over to the Witch's house and managed to steal some ashes from the fire under her cauldron. On his way back to his secret laboratory he scraped some moss off a dead tree. After he dropped off those items he streaked out of town toward the Mountains of Weirdness.

The mountains loomed ominously as he approached. Even a super villain was afraid of some things. Looking around to make sure no one was watching, he dug up a pile of clay from the base of the mountains and then flew back to his laboratory in a rush.

Once back in the lab, the Blue Laser dumped all the ingredients onto a big stone slab and mixed them together. He pulled, pounded and pinched the slippery mess into a form that resembled a Weirdo, attached two electrodes to the top of the head and then attached wires to the electrodes.

Taking a moment to savor the import of what he was about to do, he then grabbed a large lever on one of his machines and pulled it down, sending thousands of volts of electricity into the form. Lights all throughout Weirdsville dimmed. The entire laboratory vibrated. Lights flashed off and on. Dials and wheels spun. Sounds filled the air. Buzzing, whistling, zapping and rumbling grew louder and louder until all the noises were so loud the Blue Laser thought he would go deaf, and then there was a huge explosion. An enormous BOOM rocked the building, and all the noise abruptly stopped. Smoke billowed forth from the slab, filling the lab.

Once the smoke cleared the Blue Laser was delighted to see the form on the slab had been transformed into a living Weirdo whose eyes were open, and blinking. It had a crooked smile on its face. The Blue Laser hurried over to his new creation and gingerly removed the still smoking electrodes. The creature on the slab opened its mouth and stuck out its tongue, emitting a low moan. Blue Laser helped the creature stand up.

“Welcome to the world, my little monster,” he cooed.

“Gah,” the creature replied.

“This is going to be so much fun. With your help I can rule all of Weirdsville, and put that unrepentant dolt SuperWeirdo! in his place! First we'll have you kidnap a couple of innocent bystanders, and then later you can wreck havoc on a building or two. But dear me, I haven't introduced myself yet. I am the Blue Laser, evil genius, your creator and master. I think I will name you Monster Weirdo. Certainly that will strike fear into the hearts of all that hear it.”

The monster stared at the Blue Laser for a moment and then spoke.

“I say- do you have a spot of tea?” His voice was soft and had a slight lisp. “I'm a bit parched, you see. A nice cup of tea would be jolly good.”

“Ahhggghhh!” Blue Laser screamed. “Why are you talking like that?”

“Like what, my good fellow?”

“All nice and everything. You're supposed to be a monster! Scream and growl!”

“Well, I'm sure I don't know. You made me, after all.”

“But I made you out of mud and slime and ashes. You're supposed to be a horrible evil creature dedicated to assisting me in the subjugation of Weirdsville and the humiliation of SuperWeirdo!”

“Dear me, that sounds dreadfully dreary.”

“It is dreary! And it's evil and horrible and nasty! A monster should love that!”

“Oh my, no. I like smelling flowers, watching the sun set and running through the grass in my bare feet. And tea. I love a nice cup of tea. Do you have any?”

“No, I don't have any tea!” Blue Laser yelled.

“No need to raise your voice, my fine fellow.”

“Now see here. I created you, and you're going to do what I say. If you don't, I'll have to blast you to smithereens.”

“That's a bit Neanderthal, don't you think? Slavery went out of fashion a long time ago. I think I will take my leave and perambulate the area until I find a cup of tea. Good day, sir.”

With that, Monster Weirdo headed for the door.

“Stop!” Blue Laser shouted. “Come back or I'll be forced to reduce you to a pile of rubble!” But he couldn't do it. Evil as he was, the super villain couldn't find it in his heart to fire on his own creation.

Monster Weirdo did find a cup of tea, at the home of the Eyebrow family. Doll E. Eyebrows shared a cup of mint tea with the monster and then he spent the afternoon playing with Baby Brow and Little Kid Eyebrows. Everyone had a great time, except the Blue Laser, who was so angry that his newly created monster was not evil and scary. He spent the rest of the day flying through the sky zapping everything he could find.

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