Original Welcome to Weirdsville Cartoon Art by Lee Widener

Space Creature Attempting to Land Its Space Craft in Weirdsville

The Day the Space Creature Came to Weirdsville

One day some Weirdos were strolling through the countryside when they noticed a strange metallic saucer shaped object zipping around in the sky.

“I've never seen anything like that before,” Arch E. Eyebrows observed.

“Neither have I,” Everpresent Sam agreed.

The object circled the group a few times and then SuperWeirdo!, the local superhero, flew in and blasted it with his ray beam. The blast made the thing wobble a bit, but it stayed airborne, hovering in one place. This enraged SuperWeirdo!, so he flew straight at the object with all his force, bouncing off and rebounding high into the air. SuperWeirdo! wasn't really much of a superhero, but he tried his best.

By now the Weirdos could see there was someone inside the saucer shaped thing, and it was landing. SuperWeirdo! floated nearby, an angry look on his face. It was his self-appointed duty to keep Weirdsville safe and he didn't like it when unexpected things happened.

The metallic object sprouted legs and landed on the ground. A door appeared in the side and a Weirdo whirred forth, wearing a gray suit and helmet that looked like they were made of metal.

“Greetings, Weirdos,” it said. “I am from Planet X. I have come to your land on a Fact Finding Mission. Our planet is overrun with opinions, but is woefully lacking in facts. I have come here to gather facts and take them back to Planet X.”

The Weirdos stared at the creature. They didn't know what to think.

“NO!” SuperWeirdo! shouted from he sky. “Insidious interloper! You shall not corrupt the youth of Weirdsville with your perfidious lies!” And he zapped the space creature with his ray beam. The energy beams just fizzled and sizzled against the space creature's space suit, doing no damage.

“Is he always like this?” the space creature asked.

“I'm afraid so,” Sam answered. “He means well.”

“Do you have any facts?”

“Hmmm... let me think.” Sam turned to the spy, who had been lurking on the edge of the clearing. “How about you, Mr. Spy? You're always investigating everything, so you must have gathered lots of facts by now.”

The Spy let out a yelp, turned, and ran, his trench coat flapping as he scurried away. He didn't like to be noticed, since his business was of a secretive nature. His spy contacts would want to know about this unusual occurrence. They would probably want him to start an investigation.

A Weirdo with long blond hair and blue sunglasses stepped forward. “My name is Doll E. Eyebrows. I have two children, Little Kid Eyebrows and Baby Brow. I am married to an important businessman named Bush E. Eyebrows. There are some facts for you.”

The space creature whirred happily. “That is good. That is very good. I am storing those facts in my memory banks. I need more facts. Does anyone have any more facts?”

“Why don't you walk with us?” Sam suggested. “We can point out more facts as we come across them.”

“That sounds like a good idea,” the space creature said.

The group started off across the clearing, SuperWeirdo! following, shooting ray beams at the space creature until the alien got tired of the annoyance, turned, opened up a nozzle on his helmet and zapped SuperWeirdo!, sending him shooting off into the sky.

The space creature from Planet X strolled through the countryside with the Weirdos as they pointed out things like scrambled eggs that grow on the hills in Weirdsville and that there were square clouds in Weirdsville. He learned that Doll E. Eyebrows had the biggest hair in Weirdsville, but Chelsea Morning had the longest. In the days to come the Spy did indeed start an investigation into the space creature's activities, and he continued to be harassed by SuperWeirdo! He became a great friend to most of the other Weirdos and stayed many years in Weirdsville collecting facts on his Fact Finding Mission.

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